Characteristics of Codependence 

A codependent person is one who has let another person's behaviour affect him or her and who are obsessed with controlling another person's behaviour.

Codependence is the giving up of one's own wants and needs to live for other's wants and needs. It is a "people addiction" that sets a person up to be overly dependent on others in order to get their needs met.

Am I Codependent? 

  • My feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you.
  • My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.
  • Your struggles affect my serenity. My mental attention focuses on solving your problems or relieving your pain.
  • My mental attention is focused on pleasing you.
  • My mental attention is focused on manipulating you to "do it my way. "
  • Relieving your pain bolsters my self-esteem.
  • My own hobbies and interests are put aside & my time is spent sharing your interests and hobbies.


  • Your clothing and personal appearance is dictated by my desires as I feel you are a reflection of me.
  • I'm not aware of how I feel. I am aware of how you feel. I'm not aware of what I want to; I ask what you want. If I am not aware I assume. 
  • Dreams I have for my future are all linked to you.
  • My fear of rejection determines what I say or do.
  • My social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you.
  • I put my values aside in order to connect with you.
  • I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own.
  • The quality of my life is in relation to the quality of yours.

Stu Fenton

If you want to discuss this further with Stu, in a free 10-minute initial consultation, please phone:
(M) 0410324384 or email Stu to set up a Skype appointment.